Knightime // How to be a Zen Bride + Have the best wedding day ever.
It's hard to believe that at this time 2 years ago we were just a few weeks away from our wedding. Almost two years into our marriage I can honestly say, I can still look back at our day without regrets and I'm loving being married. Wedding season is about to kick into high gear and I constantly hear from my friends how memorable our wedding was, and how they were impressed that I was so zen on the BIG day.
I wanted to share some of my insights and hopefully this can help the bride, the brides friends and families. What we did isn't for everyone, and every couples day is different because all love is different!
Firstly, I was a total Mariah about our wedding. I was very clear about what things were important to me, and I was totally okay to defy tradition and I wasn't overly concerned with impressing anyone, or hurting peoples feelings. This sounds terrible right? Well, I see so many friends who get married and get stuck in-between what they want and what their families want. I never allowed people to have that option. My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves and with that we never had to really appease anyone.
I was really set on having a small affair. Even though I am someone who appears outgoing in my TV life, I'm actually a homebody who gets uncomfortable around too many people. I think mixing friend groups can be stressful and adding family to the mix worried me.
There was room for about 45 people in the backyard, so we started with our close family. We didn't allow either set of our parents to invite their friends. Our day was just our family and our closest friends. Our rule was that we BOTH had to know every single person at our wedding. If we had a friend that we wanted to invite, we made sure to set a friend date before the event. That way neither one of us had to "meet" anyone that day. It honestly made for the warmest and most comfortable event. We also were super strict about our guests dates, the "we've never met you" rule helped. If our friend had a long term partner, then we invited them as a date. If they didn't have someone that we both knew, we didn't extend them a date for the night. Sure, our friends might have complained behind our backs (if they did we never knew.) The added bonus was that our single friends had fun "meeting" eachother. I often felt guilty about the rule, but this allowed us the maximum number of people we loved to be there. I feel happy to look back at our photos and almost two years later we still talk and are connected to every single person I see.
Another thing we skipped was the wedding party. Just didn't do it. Because we had such a small wedding, it seemed silly to have half our people standing up with us. Instead, we just had everyone chill at their tables and then I just sort of walked in. Our dog was our wedding party. This saved us a ton of money, and to be honest, saved our friends the stress and money of having to buy dresses they would never wear again. It's damn hard to be in a wedding party!!!
I also put 100% trust in our planner. It was expensive but the very best thing we did. I described what we wanted, and I let Tori from Sitting In A Tree run wild. I didn't really even know 100% what the party was going to look like. I hired someone whose aesthetic I adored and I let them be the expert. The bonus was, I didn't get stressed out over candlesticks and flowers. I just sort of said " make it boho and pretty and no roses and no hot pink." It was thrilling for me to walk into the yard because it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. I constantly say that heaven existed for me for that night.
The best thing I think we did was that we really made the night about gasp getting married. It's sort of weird how weddings turn into something else. I never said "my wedding" or "me." My husband and I wrote out own vows and that was really the most important thing for me. I wanted to eat tacos, marry him and was hoping for an excellent day of beauty. I had a couple of my friends over to help me get ready, and we just kinda chilled. We drank tea on the roof in the morning. When my mom started to get nervous I had to grab her shoulders to say "this is a zen zone." Brides tend to get crazy the day of their wedding. That's really sad. It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life!
The best part is that we didn't spend a ton of money on our wedding. We came back from our honeymoon debt free. That was nice. It meant giving up some things like beautiful invites, fancy drinks and a limo. I never missed those things. If you can keep your day low budget do it. No one cares about half the stuff people spend money on, trust me.
I hope that if you are getting married soon, you are able to be a zen bride. I would love to know the best tip you have for future brides in the comments below. Also, have you been to a wedding lately where the couple did something inventive and awesome? Let me know!
All Photos by Studio Castillero
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