#Heartblog // My Love is Conditional
A couple of years ago Christopher Gutierrez and I wrote a book together called "The Imperfections of James and Kate" (which you can purchase here). When Chris writes he gives me John Green vibes, with 100% more desperation, grit and with some booze thrown in. Life is not a fairytale in his stories. He wrote the most incredible post on his blog, and I had to share. Enjoy. xx
"I left her about a year later and it wasn’t easy to walk away from someone you had pictured a future with. To walk away because I knew that her damage had finally caught up with my health. That her demons finally started to overpower my hope. And I lost my smile. And that happens when love is neglected. And I held on for a long time. Longer than I would have ever told anyone to hold on. But I couldn’t base a future on a foundation of sadness and disappointment. And when I walked away no one blamed me. They understood. They knew it had weathered me. It had dulled my shine because my optimism didn’t stand a chance against her cynicism and pain and mistrust. A good partner knows how to compromise, but a responsible partner would never allow someone they love to sacrifice who they are as a person. And while it was my job to support her even when the nightmares and addictions came back around - you can only expect good people to feel neglected and unappreciated for so long.
So I walked away because my love is not unconditional. My head and my heart need to be nurtured and appreciated. Because I will wither away. Fade. Dull. If I don’t feel loved and I really don’t think that’s asking for much.
Because it isn’t.
And you don't need anyone who thinks it is selfish to keep yourself healthy. Because happy people make this world a better place. And happy and healthy people attract other happy and healthy people and that’s what we deserve - to get back what we put out in to this world. So no, I wouldn’t blame you for leaving if your heart continued to get crushed. If your love was not reciprocated. And if someone treated you like a nuisance and not like the wonderful person you truly are.
So yeah, you’re damn right my love is conditional.
And anyone who thinks otherwise is simply selling themselves short."
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